


everything stays

by kiwwaaa



Series: collection of my one shots! (self-inserts) >\\\< [9]
Category: Haikyuu!!, Mystic Messenger (Video Game), 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: Crossover, F/M, Imagination, Original Character(s), Self-Insert, i need to stop falling for fictional characters, i randomly came up with this and it hurt to write, lavander door monsters inc style, see into my brain, this is a long one sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:00:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25609273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiwwaaa/pseuds/kiwwaaa
Summary: everyone gets the same opportunity, to step away from reality for a short amount of time. this was my journeysong: everything stays (from adventure time)
Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Original Female Character(s), Midoriya Izuku/Original Female Character(s), Nishinoya Yuu/Original Female Character(s), Yoosung Kim/Original Female Character(s)
Series: collection of my one shots! (self-inserts) >\\\< [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1856116





	everything stays

**Author's Note:**

> i dunno what brought on this idea, but it just came to me! but uh... it got pretty depressing, like most of the things i write, i apologize... also, this was a long one ^^;;
> 
> but, it included all four of my favorite boys, plus other additional video game characters that were part of my childhood. 
> 
> i have a strong attachment to fictional characters, and i think that will be my downfall... ^^;;

**_everything stays_ **

  
  


__ “You ready to head in?” The coordinator asked me, one hand on the golden door knob of my lavender painted door. “You can stay in there for as long as you need, as time moves significantly slower than out here. For example, five days may only be five minutes out here, if that is any help. If we need you to evacuate, like if you are spilling over into someone else’s time, then we will deactivate the door and escort you out. Do you have any questions?” 

I shook my head, and gripped the hem of my shirt to hide my shaking hands. There were several other people lined up in a row all around me, waiting to go inside of their multicolored doors. This was an opportunity that was presented once every few months, since the government had to shift between the many different age groups, and the humongous population. And on that day, it had been my turn. And I couldn’t have been more eager to head into the familiar paradise that was my mind, and to see just how many things had changed since the last time that I was there. 

“Very well,” the hand on the knob stayed firmly in place, making sure that I didn’t try to make my way inside prematurely. “Everything is getting set up according to your needs. When the alarm rings, I will let you inside.” 

I knew that they had to repeat the same directions every time, but I was still tired of them, since I knew it already. I just wanted to escape reality for as long as I needed to. And once the familiar twinkle erupted into the room, the doorknob twisted, and I stepped inside with bated breath. Or…  _ outside _ ? 

Once the door was shut behind me, all that I could feel was a warm breeze washing over me. It felt so refreshing, basking in the afternoon sun as I wandered through an empty meadow. The grass was tall, and soft, and I ran my fingers across the delicate, dew covered blades. 

It felt just like the last time I was here. I was at peace, warm, and alone. No one was there to bother me, to ruin this experience for me. I wanted to stay here forever, just me, the grass, and the warm sun. 

“Oh, you’re here!” 

Was I losing my mind, or was someone just talking to me? No, that couldn’t be right. This place had always been the same no matter how many times I’ve come here. I didn’t need anyone else to feel happy. I was content being alone. So why was someone else here? 

I turned my head slowly, trying to find the source of those words. And my eyes fixed on a certain boy who I had found quite familiar, someone whom I’ve only ever seen on my television screen; Izuku Midoriya. I froze in my spot, gaping at the green haired boy with wide eyes and a racing heart. There was no way that he was here, that he was speaking to  _ me _ . Then again, this place  _ was  _ just fabricated by my mind. So, in reality, anything was possible here. I could just think something up, and it would appear. I just never knew that fictional characters would begin to show up. 

“Y-Yeah I’m… here.” I replied awkwardly, but Izuku grinned nonetheless. My heart fluttered all the same, but this just felt even more heart-wrenching since he was standing just a few feet away from me. 

“The others will be happy to see you. You should come visit them!” He suggested eagerly, looking at me with his wide, expectant, emerald eyes. I could only look back in another state of shock as I took in what he had just said. There were… others? Just how many people were here? How did they get into my head?

Still, curiosity got the best of me, and I figured that  _ some  _ company couldn’t hurt. So, I followed the boy, walking tentatively as he bounced with each step. I wasn’t sure where he was taking me. How did he even know where he was going? This place was just an endless meadow. Or so I thought, as a large wooden picnic table was fast approaching. There was also a log cabin in the near distance, just across the bridge over a small stream. 

There were three other figures at the table, one of them sulking in the corner off by his lonesome, while the other two sat across from each other as they conversed casually. But what struck me the most was that none of them were real people, and yet I recognized every single one of them. 

And once Izuku so helpfully announced my arrival, one by one, their heads all turned to me. I couldn’t move as I was pinned down by their stares, and all I could do was stare back at Yoosung Kim, Yuu Nishinoya, and Katsuki Bakugou. Izuku joined them at the table, taking his seat across from the moody blonde, and I couldn't help but find this all to be too good to be true. 

Well, technically, none of this was even real, so I shouldn't have been so surprised. But they all looked so  _ lifelike _ , it was a little bit scary, since all of them were usually two dimensional drawings on a screen. But as the wind blew, it tousled the locks on each of their heads as they all still looked at me, all of them smiling except Katsuki, but that was to be expected because I knew him so well. 

Cautiously, I willed my feet to move. They ate up the short distance between myself and the table, and I swallowed hard once I was close enough to touch them. “H-Hello…” I greeted nervously, a shaky smile playing on my lips. Katsuki scoffed. 

“The fuck are you being so shy for? We’ve all been with you before, so this isn’t new to us.” He explained, and I marveled at how his ruby gaze was even more intense than I had imagined, and it almost felt as if I were meeting him again for the first time, tip-toeing around him as to not make him angry, while he watched me curiously from afar. He did have a point, though. 

Every single one of those boys had gone on adventures with me throughout my mind, in drawings, or through my writing. I should’ve felt more comfortable in their presence, but I would be weird if I wasn’t a little bit shaken by this, right? It’s not everyday that you end up face to face with all of the fictional boys that you’d fallen in love with. 

“You’re right, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” I apologized, taking a seat between Izuku and Nishinoya, facing the opposite bench where Yoosung and Katsuki sat. “You guys, uh… are having a picnic?” 

“Yeah!” Yoosung was the one to speak up this time, and I didn’t miss the way that Katsuki’s eyes rolled. I had forgotten that I had written him hating my relationship with Yoosung, since he was a character from a phone app, someone who wasn’t even real in the fictional world where I was in a relationship with Katsuki. “I spent lots of time making this food. Everyone else insisted on helping, but… I wanted to practice my cooking for you. Well…  _ someone  _ believed that I would fail miserably, so that was the only reason he didn’t butt in.” 

I sent a knowing glance at Katsuki, who in turn glanced off with a faint smirk on his face. My heart fluttered once again. He was just so unbelievably  _ pretty _ . As they all were, really. 

“I hope you like what I’ve made. You don’t need to eat right now though, if you’re not hungry. But I just don’t want you skipping out on any meals.” 

I chuckled at his comment, because it was so like him to worry about whether I’ve eaten or not. It brought me back to all of those times where I would enter a chatroom, and all of the RFA members were asking whether I ate, or telling me to eat some food over the phone. I never listened to them. “I’m sure I’ll love it. But I’ll eat when I’m hungry. For now, I just want to  _ explore _ .” 

“Understandable,” a new voice said this time, from my left. I turned and met Nishinoya’s rich, brown gaze, and I had to refrain from swooning. He smiled widely at me before speaking again. “This place is just so refreshing, right? Who knew someone’s mind could be this peaceful?” 

“Well…” I began. My mind really  _ wasn’t  _ such a peaceful place. This door was just an escape, a chance at temporary happiness. It was built upon our interests, and things that could really make us feel whole. “This is just what I  _ want _ my mind to look like, not what it… actually is.” The table of boys listened intently, something that I wasn’t very used to, and I closed my mouth, just looking down at the table in front of me. I felt almost… awkward. Out of place. But how could I, when this was literally  _ my _ brain? 

Katsuki gave me an almost analytical look before standing up. “You said you wanted to explore, right? Then let’s go.” God, why did I have to write him being able to read me so well? That was both a blessing and a curse. 

Wordlessly, I followed, yet when I turned back, none of the others got up to join us. They stayed rooted to their seats, smiling at the pair of us. Why didn’t they come along? 

I fell into step beside Katsuki as we tread through the tall grass. I wasn’t sure where we were headed, but we kept walking anyways. And at some point, my arm brushed against his, and I jolted. The slide of skin against skin felt so real, so  _ human _ , but it shouldn’t have, right? He was just conjured up from my mind. Then again, the grass, the breeze, the sunlight, it all felt real, too. 

Katsuki looked down at me in amusement at the way I stared at my arm. “What? If one touch gets you  _ that  _ flustered, then how were we able to do all that other stuff?” I frowned as he smirked. What did he mean, ‘other stuff’? I had never seen him before this, so what could he—

_ Oh _ . Well… this is awkward. 

My cheeks burned at the realization that I had written us in so many filthy scenarios, and he knew about every single one. He was a _ part  _ of every single one. “O-Oh… heh… sorry, I’m just… not used to actually  _ feeling  _ you. I mean, you’re just a two dimensional anime character from a show. You gotta give me more time to get used to this.” 

He nodded in understanding, before taking the lead and walking again. I realized that he was heading to the cabin, the one across the small stream. The bridge was made up of dark wood, built together in a small arch, with a wall on either side. I could see and feel the separation of each log under the soles of my shoes as we crossed, and then, we stood outside the front of the cabin. 

It was a standard log cabin, my mind probably couldn’t conjure up a more fancy one, but that was fine by me. It was all built by logs of what looked to be the same wood as the bridge, with large holes in the walls for windows, and there was even a chimney. I wasn’t sure what that was for, because if there was a fireplace, wouldn’t the house just catch on fire if someone used it? 

“You coming in?” Katsuki asked, and I hadn’t even realized that he stood in the doorway. I nodded and followed him inside. 

The interior of the cabin was nice and cozy, the smell of oak and lumber, the maroon rug that filled me with a sense of warmth, the plush brown sofa and armchair, as well as the dining area, it all just felt so… comfortable. Like this was  _ home _ . Katsuki walked inside like it was his house, and perhaps it was, perhaps all four of those boys lived inside of it. Just thinking about the amount of chaos it must’ve been, made me want to laugh, before something flashed in front of my eyes. 

Katsuki stood idly by and watched, not even looking surprised at the holographic figures who had just appeared, running about the house, fighting, dodging and weaving, or even laughing as they watched from afar. It was them, all four of them, playing out the scenarios from my mind. The blonde turned to me once they had disappeared, but my eyes stayed trained on the spot where they once were. It was so weird seeing them all interact. 

“Is that how you see it?” He asked, and when I looked at him, he was smiling. Nothing much, just a small quirk of the lips. 

“Y-Yeah, it is. Is that how you guys are?” 

Katsuki shrugged. “If that’s what you imagine, then yes. That’s exactly how we are.” 

I should’ve been used to this by now, by their presence, by the fact that they were here because of everything that I’ve done, and that I could create anything that I’ve ever wanted in this place. It just never ceased to amaze me. 

I’ve never had anyone to talk to in here; the last time that that happened was when I was a little girl, running around with a single firefly, and jumping around with my two stuffed friends, my two little sackboys. They came from a video game that my best friend and I were very fond of, a game where we were able to let our imagination flow and escape our homes to play together. We even had a song that we always listened to, hence the fireflies, and those things all paired together, encouraged us to create drawings inspired by our times together. I had the most fun with them in my lavender door, but once I had grown up, those things disappeared. But they still held a special place in my memories. 

Once I refocused and broke away from my thoughts, Katsuki had been watching me intently. I jumped a bit, looking back at him. Just how long had I been lost in thought for? 

“Come sit with me,” Katsuki suggested, walking over to the sofa. I joined him, keeping a safe distance away. I wasn’t sure what I would do if I touched him again. It would probably result with me being in a catatonic shock just knowing that these characters had really come to life, and all from my own efforts. 

Katsuki shook his head disapprovingly at me, before he scooted closer. He draped an arm over the back of the couch, practically caging me against his body, even though I knew that I could get up if I really wanted to. And I found that I didn’t. “You do realize that you’re dating every single one of us in different universes, right? I’m not tryna brag, but you  _ have _ written about  _ me _ the most. We know each other. You don’t have to feel so awkward around me.” 

My stomach twisted when his free hand reached up to hold my chin. The skin there tingled, sending little shocks through my body. I didn’t think that I would ever get used to this. He was even prettier like this, off of the screen, in the same dimension as me, breathing the same air. When he spoke again, his words were a mere whisper against my lips. “Something tells me you’ve been wondering about this.” 

A pair of lips met mine. But it wasn’t at all like what my mind envisioned whenever I wrote my stories. I could actually  _ feel  _ them, their warmth, their softness, and the light pressure as they brushed against my own. They took my breath away, and even after he pulled back, I was frozen in place. I still felt the lingering traces of his lips on mine, the way that they tingled from the touch that they shared. Katsuki had always been observant, so when he was searching my gaze, I felt like I was used to the gesture, like I was used to him always trying to figure me out. 

“Was that okay?” He asked softly, and I nodded, still unable to really speak. Then he smirked at my bewildered expression. “I’m guessing you want to do that again?” I didn’t even have to answer for him to know. 

Katsuki was more confident in the kiss this time, now branching past the territory of just a peck, dominating my bottom lip between his own. The drag of his tongue against mine was slow, smooth, and deliberate. We moaned simultaneously at the feeling, and I had to break away to just  _ breathe _ . It was simple enough to write the sensations that this kind of intimacy would entail without having experienced it, since I spent the majority of my time reading. But it wasn’t nearly as breathtaking as it was when I could actually  _ feel _ the love that he felt for me through the kiss, and it was almost overwhelming. And as we looked at each other, taking in air, the door to the cabin burst open, and a cool breeze washed over us. 

“Hey, something’s here!” It was Izuku’s voice, and Katsuki visibly rolled his eyes as we both turned towards the boy. Izuku’s cheeks flushed at the scene before him, and he glanced away sheepishly. “S-Sorry for interrupting. But, you really should come see this.” 

He ran back outside, and I gave Katsuki a look before following him. What could possibly have shown up? Was it another hologram? I wasn’t really imagining anything since I was… well,  _ occupied _ . So what could it be? 

The three other boys were huddled around something in the grass, eyes wide as they watched something below them. I tried my best to peek between them, but I couldn’t see. But when I caught up to them, they made a path for me, and my heart stopped. 

Two small brown stuffed toys stood in the grass, looking up at me with their cute little button eyes. A single firefly rested atop one of their heads, and I found my eyes growing warm and wet with fresh tears. They were… they were really  _ there _ , after so many years. 

I kneeled down so that I could run my fingers over their stitching. I let out a chuckle when they jumped under my touch, grasping tightly onto my fingers with their tiny hands. 

“Who are they?” Yoosung asked, watching our interaction with utmost curiosity. 

“Old friends,” I said, keeping my explanation short. “Haven’t seen these guys since I was little.” Scooping them up in my arms like old times, I brought them back over to the picnic table, and set them atop the surface. The firefly flickered momentarily, hovering in the air around the stuffed toys. It was so nice to see them again. They reminded me of what it was like to have an imagination. 

“Well, now that you’re with us, Kiara,” Nishinoya said from behind me. “What do you wanna do?” I sat back and thought for a moment. What  _ did  _ I want to do? I was here with some of my favorite people, and I imagined this scenario many times; all of us talking and laughing with each other. But it was different to actually be here, to actually see them with my own eyes, and to hear their voices. 

“I’m not sure, really. I’m just… happy to be here.” I said, smiling softly at my old friends, and also at my new ones. 

“Really? You can literally do  _ anything  _ you want, and you don’t know?” Nishinoya gaped at me with wide eyes, and I nodded back. “Woah… I would be doing all of the things that I’ve always wanted to do, if I had this opportunity. There must be  _ something _ that you’ve always wanted to do.” 

Of course, my mind immediately went to…  _ that _ , and my cheeks flushed as I remembered the glide of Katsuki’s tongue along mine. He seemed to catch on, smirking at me from across the table. I purposely avoided his gaze. That wasn’t  _ all  _ that I craved, yet it was a big part of what lingered on my mind the most. But what I really wanted at the moment, what I  _ really _ craved, was one thing. 

I stood up and walked over to the prideful blonde, shooting him a questioning glance before wrapping my arms around his waist. I snuggled my head into his chest, flushing at the abundance of muscles that I felt through the fabric. Not long after, his arms followed, pressing me closer against him. 

“Ah, I can’t help but feel a little jealous,” Yoosung said as he watched this scene unfold. “You’ve been spending the most time with him ever since you came. But he’s so  _ mean _ …” 

I chuckled at his words, and kept Katsuki’s growing anger to a minimum. “Well… technically, he was the one who I chose first, before any of you. I hope that doesn’t hurt, I really love you all. But… I just can’t help but hang around him. Is that bad?” 

Izuku shook his head with a knowing smile. “We could all see it, the way you look at Kacchan. Noya and I had been trying to decide who you would end up choosing; Yoosung, or Kacchan. He was really rooting for Yoosung.” 

“Well, have you  _ seen  _ the way she cried over him, even during the second time she played his route?” Nishinoya said. “I really thought that it’d be him.” 

“Yeah, but… Kacchan seems to be the number one person in her mind.” Izuku laughed, the sound so delicate and breathy against the warm, summer air. “He’s practically glowing right now from the thought of being number one.” 

“Stop talking about me like I’m not here,” Katsuki grumbled, but his voice held none of its usual aggression, and his cheeks were heavily flushed. He was embarrassed, and it was cute. I nuzzled my cheek against him, and played with the fabric of his shirt with my fingers. He was so warm, and just the right amount of comforting pressure pressed up against me. 

“You guys are cute together, so… it doesn’t bother me  _ too _ much.” Yoosung said, albeit still a little melancholy. Gosh… it felt so weird having multiple people fighting over me. If only this kind of thing would happen to me in real life. 

“Okay, enough of this, I’m taking her back to the cabin.” Katsuki announced, tugging me along, and I yelped at the sudden pull of my arm. “Join us if you want, losers.” After some thought, the three other boys, sackboys and firefly in tow, trailed slowly behind us. 

Katsuki’s fingers interlaced with mine as we walked, and I kept my gaze trained on the grass below, willing my face to stay cool. We walked in silence, the only sound being the crunch of the grass underneath our shoes. It wasn’t until we made it to the stream that Katsuki had stopped us, and the other boys took the hint to go inside and to leave us out there. 

“Is what they said true? About me being number one?” He asked, staring at the water flowing in front of us. He kicked at a small stone, and I watched it fall into the stream, and get carried off with the current. 

“I suppose so. I feel more drawn to you, so that could be why.” I explained. It was true, his presence was intoxicating, I loved it. The others were equally as amazing, but I saw myself with the short-tempered blonde more than anyone else. We’d been through the most together. I mean… Yoosung  _ did  _ sacrifice an eye for me, but that wasn’t the point. Just thinking back on the writing that I did of Katsuki’s confession, or the most recent sad one about dreaming a conversation between us before waking up alone, and all of the other moments that we’ve shared in between. If only I could pull him through the door and bring him into my waking life, but that would be impossible. At least I could always visit him here. And with the knowledge of him knowing all of my writings, it had given me a newfound determination to  _ keep _ writing, and to keep creating beautiful scenarios between the two of us. Ones that we could share, even when I wasn’t right there beside him. 

Holding Katsuki’s gaze, my lips quirked up into an involuntary smile. I felt unbelievably shy at that moment, since these emotions that I were feeling were so new to me. He leaned down to press a chaste kiss to my lips, and I quickly reached a hand up to grip his hair, and hold him there to deepen the kiss. It only lasted a few seconds longer, but I felt like I was in pure bliss with his warm lips on mine. 

When we finally joined the boys on the inside, they all sat on the couch around a small rectangular coffee table, giggling over the sackboys who were dancing around for their entertainment. I smiled at the scene before me, and they all looked over at us when we shut the cabin door behind us. 

“You two lovebirds done yet? I’m itching to do something.” Nishinoya said, then he looked up at me with eyes that resembled those of a puppy. “Like… volleyball, perhaps? Gotta keep up my title as best libero, you know.” 

Katsuki scoffed, but the more that I thought about it, volleyball  _ did  _ sound fun. I could see us now, Katsuki fuming at having been paired up with Izuku as Yoosung and Nishinoya stood on the opposite side of the net, and I cheered for him as he performed his special  _ Rolling Thunder  _ move. 

I was brought back by Nishinoya's voice. He smiled at me. “She’s doing it again. Should we see if it worked?” 

Yoosung and Izuku nodded enthusiastically while Katsuki only turned to look out of the window. “Doing what again?” I asked, but once Nishinoya’s face lit up and he ran outside, I could only guess that I had conjured something up again. Could it be…?

It  _ was _ . A large volleyball net was set up in the field beside the house, and there was that familiar white, red, and green ball laying in the middle of the makeshift court. Nishinoya was already there, picking up the ball to bounce it on his arms a few times. He looked genuinely excited, and I ran over to him, putting a safe distance across from us. 

“Teach me how to receive,” I said, and the smile on his face only grew wider. 

“Okay, just make sure you’re in the right stance. Bend your knees, like this,” he demonstrated each gesture, “and hold out your arms, like this. But when you hit the ball, don’t just raise your arms. You have to follow through with your whole body. Like this, see?” He tossed the ball into the air before bending down, and making an almost rolling motion with his body as he hit the ball back up. Then he caught it between his palms. “Got it?” 

I nodded. “I think so.” 

Nishinoya tossed the ball over to me, and as I saw it approaching, I bent my legs as the ball made contact, hitting it back with more ease than I expected. I used to play this during school, so I wasn’t completely new to it. But what he taught me had made it so much easier. Nishinoya sent over his praise as he passed the ball back over to me. 

We were only able to get a few passes in before Katsuki spoke up. “You done yet? I thought we were gonna play a  _ game _ .” 

“Kacchan! They were practicing.” Izuku chided, and Yoosung was just watching their interaction warily. That boy really  _ was  _ scared of Katsuki. The poor kid… 

“It’s okay, Izuku. We can play. That sounds like fun!” I suggested, and Katsuki smirked, already getting pumped up. There would be an odd number of people if all of us were to play, so I decided that it should just be a two-on-two game, the boys against the boys, as I kept the sackboys company and watched from the sidelines. I could also act as the scorekeeper. 

And just like I had imagined, Katsuki and Izuku were side by side on one side of the net, while Yoosung and Nishinoya were on the other. Their reasoning was that Izuku and Katsuki had come from the same place, and Izuku was the only one who could handle the temperamental blonde. I agreed, because they did have a point. But I could practically see the tension rising in the air between Katsuki and Nishinoya, while Izuku and Yoosung were just looking to have fun. 

It was almost comical watching them struggle to keep a good rally going, since Nishinoya was really the only one who had the most experience, but the other boys were all fast learners. They at least became fairly decent at receiving the ball, but no one was daring enough to spike a  _ single time _ . It made me want to run in there myself, but I knew that that would’ve ruined the game. 

But like I had expected (and I was starting to suspect that  _ everything _ that I had expected would come true), Nishinoya’s team had come out as the victor. Katsuki threw the ball down in anger, small sparks scorching the surface of the ball. Nishinoya gaped at his fallen foe, but seemed to still be content with the win. 

A pouty Katsuki returned to the cabin with a reassuring Izuku in tow, and I laughed from behind them, trailing in with the other boys. I let the sackboys run off in the cabin and do their own thing as I sat on the couch to comfort Katsuki from his loss. 

“It’s alright, Katsuki. It was just a fun little game of volleyball.” I supplied, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. He scoffed and turned his head away. “Oh, come on. You still looked good out there, I can’t deny that.” 

Katsuki turned to me with amusement in his eyes. “I did, huh?” 

“Oh, most definitely.” I added, with a teasing lilt to my tone. But in all honesty, I didn’t pay attention to the way that they looked. I had only been focused on keeping score, and making sure that they were having fun, and that a major fight didn’t break out. But, anything to make Katsuki feel better. 

“Hm.” Katsuki seemed pleased with himself as he sat back on the couch with a lazy smirk on his face, deep in thought as he looked down at the floor below him. And as I sat beside him, watching one of my sackboys jumping across the distance from the armchair to the coffee table, Katsuki tilted my face towards him abruptly, and pressed his lips to mine. 

I couldn’t pull away because it was so sudden, but it was also just so  _ good _ that I could only kiss him back. But all too soon, he pulled away. I gaped up at him. “What was  _ that _ for?” Katsuki shrugged. 

“To get your mind running.” 

My entire face burned bright at the implications. Geez, boys were horny… But then again, I wasn’t really one to talk. Especially with the fact that he was really  _ there _ , and I could actually  _ feel  _ him. Just imagine the possibilities… I shook my head, ridding it of those filthy thoughts. 

I really wasn’t sure how long I was planning to stay here in this place, but I was having so much fun as it is. So, why go so soon? I could always spend the night here. Or… maybe a few nights? Just looking at Katsuki laugh when Izuku tripped over the rug, had put a smile on my face. I’ve only ever really genuinely smiled when I was in this place, when I was truly at peace. 

The first day had passed in the blink of an eye, and waking up snuggled against Katsuki wasn’t the  _ worst _ thing in the world, yet it was still something to get used to. Day two was underway, and I was still having just as much fun as before, chatting casually with Nishinoya as we passed a volleyball back and forth. 

“I hope you’re having fun. I’m not sure if we’ve been good company.” He said, and I shook my head at him. 

“Nonsense! This is the most fun that I’ve had in a long time. Give yourself more credit.” I said. “Besides, this room was built off of things that would make me happy. None of you would be here if that wasn’t the case.” 

The brunette smiled sheepishly, passing the ball back over to me. I aimed my next pass a little bit more to the side so that he would have to jump over to reach it. It was just to add a little bit more variety to this little game. 

“I’m glad you like it here. It’s so nice to finally see you.” 

Lunch with Yoosung was a blast; trying (and failing) at making several Korean dishes. I didn’t know the first thing about cooking, but he had been trying to get better. Katsuki could only cringe from afar, while Izuku held him back from storming into the kitchen and trashing everything.

The bowls in front of us looked extremely questionable, and we gave each other a wary glance before taking a bite. Not many things had grossed me out, but I gagged as soon as the…  _ meat _ … had touched my tongue. Yoosung had a similar reaction, but he was more embarrassed at having made something that wasn’t to my liking. I discreetly disposed of my bite into a napkin, and threw it in the trash can. 

“It wasn’t—“ I swallowed hard, trying to keep everything down, “ _ that _ bad.” 

“Oh  _ please _ ,” Katsuki said with a click of his tongue. “You practically threw the shit up. Just let me in there, I’ll make something everyone can actually hold in their mouths longer than a second.” 

I patted Yoosung on the back as he slumped over, dejected. He looked at me with sad eyes, and a flushed face. “I’m sorry it wasn’t good. I promise I’ll make you something better next time.” 

“No need to apologize. I had fun making it with you, and that’s all that matters.” I reassured him, and he looked to be in higher spirits after that. 

As Katsuki worked in the kitchen, grumbling to himself as he cooked lunch for everyone, Yoosung and I sat at the dining table together, talking about things like his cooking hobby, and also things about the other RFA members. We even briefly chatted about the time where he asked me to be his pre-girlfriend, and I was a flustered mess just thinking back to it. Katsuki was listening with rapt attention, and I knew that because he would constantly glare in our direction. But we both ignored him, and spent more quality time together. 

And by the time lunch was finished, everyone had joined us at the table to eat the curry that Katsuki made, and it was delicious, as always. 

It was evening now, and we all retreated to the outside world, dancing around in the grass and catching fireflies between our palms. I loved to watch them, mostly, seeing them bounce and flicker about around us. I opted to just sit down and watch everyone else frolic and play. I didn’t have the energy to do so. I was feeling much more somber. 

I looked up at the sky, and thought back to what my mother had told us once. She talked about living up north before she had us, and being able to see the northern lights during the winter time. She marveled about how beautiful they were, and I’ve always been curious as to what they looked like in person. I could only vaguely remember seeing them in a movie about bears that I had loved during my childhood. 

I hadn’t even noticed Katsuki join me in the grass until he spoke. “You’re doing it again,” Katsuki said, smiling down at me, and brushing my hair away from my face. 

“Doing what?” I asked, breaking from my momentary stupor. 

“Thinking,” he answered, his pupils darting back and forth as he tried to pick apart my brain. “What did you make this time?”

I gasped when I had realized that yes, I  _ had  _ been thinking. I was thinking about something that I’d always wanted to see, something beautiful that only my mother had experienced before, and that I’ve only ever seen in movies. My eyes shot up to the night sky, and the breath was pulled from my lungs. Katsuki followed suit, before making his own noise of surprise at the sight.

There were so many colors; pink, blue, green, purple. They all blended together, creating a wavy effect low in the sky, dotted with stars that looked like newly mined crystals. “It’s so  _ pretty _ ,” I found myself saying, and Katsuki agreed from beside me. 

I had felt so at peace in that moment, sitting with Katsuki on the lush grass, feeling the breeze tousle our hair from side to side as fireflies flickered all around us, our eyes trained on the bright colors of the sky. Nothing could compare to the way that I felt at that moment. No experience in my waking life was even worthy of being ranked near this one. 

I leaned my head on his shoulder, and laced my fingers with his. I truly loved him, and that thought didn’t scare me as much as I thought that it would. 

On the third day, there was a lot of…  _ tension _ in the air. Yes, there was the constant bickering between Katsuki and Izuku, but that was something that we had all grown used to. Even the sackboys had grown immune to their useless arguments. But no, there was a different tension lingering in the air, and everyone could see it. So they kept avoiding us at every possible chance that they could. Katsuki didn’t mind that one bit. He was just happy to have me all to himself. 

It wasn’t until Izuku had made what had to be the twentieth excuse to leave, that I had had enough. I whipped around to face Katsuki, who had his eyes trained somewhere low on my body before shamelessly trailing them back up to meet my gaze. I narrowed my eyes at him, and he glanced off as if he hadn’t known what was going on. 

“It’s your fault that they’re all leaving, huh?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest. “If you had something to say, you could've just said it, you know.” 

Katsuki shook his head, stepping closer to me. “Not in front of them. Unless you’re into that kind of thing.” My eyes widened in surprise at how bold he was being. Yet again, it was  _ him _ . Of  _ course _ he was this way. 

“W-Well… you coulda just pulled me aside or… something.” I replied under my breath, yet he still heard me loud and clear since he had already crossed the small distance between us. Katsuki had repeated the same action from our first kiss, taking my chin in his hand and tilting my head up. There was something brimming in his eyes that made my stomach swarm with butterflies. 

“You made me like this,” was the last thing that he said before his lips crashed onto mine. I was knocked back by the sheer force, stumbling backwards until I hit a wall. It wasn’t long until I was panting hotly into his mouth because I could barely breathe, but Katsuki wasn’t done dominating the cavern with his tongue. The glide of our tongues was something filthy, and left me moaning breathlessly. 

Then  _ finally _ , his lips strayed from mine and traveled down to my neck. He held a firm grip on my hair, keeping my head tilted for him to work his teeth and tongue over the flesh. Everything was too much, yet not enough, as the nerves on my body jumped into hyperdrive, tingling and sparkling at the new sensations. It really  _ was _ better than what I wrote it out to be, feeling the delicious sting of pain from the way his teeth dug in to create a purple blemish over my skin. 

Katsuki pulled away, breathing heavily over my skin. His eyes glazed over the mark before he pressed a light kiss over it. I hummed at the jolt that shot through me. “There.  _ Now _ see if they try to take you from me.” 

“Wh-What?” I called out, clearing my throat when my voice came out hoarse. I don’t know why he stopped, I was kind of disappointed. I mean, everyone was gone, they were giving us our own space. Was he really planning on stopping at that? 

He chuckled at my expression before pressing a gentle kiss to my cheek. He kept his lips close to my skin, and spoke in a soft whisper. “If I gave it all to you now, you wouldn’t have any motivation to stay longer. Gotta keep you wanting more, right?” 

_ Unbelievable _ . 

“Those guys really  _ are _ cute,” Izuku said, smiling fondly at the stuffed boys that chased each other in the tall grass. “Where are they from?” I watched as one of them tripped over, and the other, despite not being the one who was ‘it’ during their game of tag, had paused to help the other one up. They really  _ were _ cute. But so was the boy beside me.

“They’re from a game my friend and I used to play a lot. We played it together almost every day, but we haven’t been able to do that for a while, now. It’s kinda sad, growing up, that is.” I explained, my heart tugging at the old memories that resurfaced. 

“Oh, is that you?” Izuku asked, and I opened my mouth to question him, but my eyes landed on another holographic image. It was me, sitting on my old pull-out bed with a headset on, and controller in hand. I sat in front of our small television screen, talking to my best friend as we decorated our rooms on a level that someone had created on the community section of the game. 

I painted my bed teal, and added the same  _ PlayStation  _ stickers to the bed frame. It was the standard way that I had always painted my bed, and I smiled at the memory. I really missed those times. It was back when I was truly happy with my life. 

“Yeah, that was me playing the game with her.” I replied. “Those were fun times.” 

“Oh! I see them! They really are from that game.” I nodded when Izuku spotted our characters, which were those little sackboys, only, they were dressed up by clothes that we had unlocked by playing levels, and buying from the shops. My friend always had a better selection of clothes, but I always made it work. 

And soon after, the memory faded, and we were left staring at a never ending field of grass once again. 

“Izuku,” I called, and he turned to me. I had realized this back when I had first seen those images of all of them back in the cabin. Katsuki didn’t look fazed by them, and neither did Izuku. “Do you guys see those holograms all the time? Is that why you aren’t so freaked out once they appear?” 

The green haired boy nodded with a smile. “That’s how we see you. Whenever someone new appears in your mind, we watch over you from those holograms. They pop up every so often. It’s either when you’re really happy, or when you’re… not having such a great time. There’s been… a lot of those, recently.” 

“O-Oh… I’m sorry you guys had to see all of that.” I murmured, my cheeks heating up at the thought of them all watching me sob uncontrollably in my bed with my stuffed cat, Cherry, in my arms. 

“There’s no need to be embarrassed, Kiara.” Izuku placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. “You should’ve seen Kacchan, though. He was about ready to jump into the hologram and try to comfort you, himself.” 

A glimmer of hope passed through my chest. Jump through? Was that even possible? Was there a way for them to travel into the real world and live with me? All they had to do was jump through, and I could spend my life as the happiest person on Earth? “Can he really do that?” I asked, and Izuku’s face softened as a sad smile took over. 

“Ah, no… as much as we wish that we could, it’s just… not possible.” 

“Oh… I get it.” I said, before sighing in defeat. I always got a sense of false hope, and it was a bad habit that I needed to break. Maybe staying here was bad for my health, because it made me believe that anything was possible in the real world, but it wasn’t. It was only possible behind my lavender door.

“You know…” I called out to Katsuki who was looking around the kitchen for ingredients. “I can just imagine the food that I want. You don’t have to make anything for me.” 

“The fuck would you do that for? What, you don’t like my cooking or something?” He sounded genuinely offended, and I was quick to wave my hands and deny his accusations. 

“No, I love it! I just thought that it’d be less work, and a much quicker alternative.” I supplied, hanging my head down in shame. 

Katsuki clicked his tongue disapprovingly. “I don’t mind cooking for you, dumbass. It’s nothing, really.” 

“Okay, okay. It was just a suggestion.” 

Katsuki ignored me as he kept cooking, and I realized that he never complained once. He really  _ was  _ happy to make something. He was probably content with feeling useful at something, even though he was doing enough just  _ being  _ here, really. I wasn’t expecting anything from him other than his company, because that’s all I really needed. 

But it was still nice to see him in the kitchen, brows furrowed in concentration as he tossed several spices into a pan with meat, and poured grains of rice into a rice cooker that was nearby. He moved about diligently, and with the ease of a five-star chef. I was so happy that this boy knew how to cook, or else we would’ve been doomed. 

Dinner was always pleasant anyways, served in multiple dishes on the wooden table, with everyone sitting around it, eating as we chatted about what went on in each other’s universes. I personally enjoyed Yoosung’s stories the most, since each RFA member was so complex, but Nishinoya did always have a thrilling tale about playing practice games with Nekoma. Katsuki was always silent during these times, just sitting back and listening intently, while Izuku mostly asked questions with that usual curious twinkle in his eye. 

I felt so comfortable with them, so comfortable that I found myself not even getting homesick. Usually, I was always itching to be back inside of my own house whenever I was out and about, but being here… I really wasn’t in a rush to go back. Maybe I could extend my time here, and stay just a  _ few _ more days? 

A few more days had turned into a few  _ weeks _ , as time flew by even faster than I had anticipated. We filled the time mostly sharing stories, sitting out in the grassy fields, running around, being  _ kids _ . 

Nishinoya and I were like best buds, Izuku and I were the two nerds who loved to geek out over the little things, and Yoosung and I were always having deep talks under the moonlight. Katsuki and I were closer than ever, always snuggled up against one another if I wasn’t with any of the other boys. He was even more lenient with letting me hang out with them, taking the time to take his own walks out in the meadow to get some fresh air. He always seemed more peaceful after a long walk, and every night, we always retreated to the bedroom of the cabin, and fell asleep in each other’s arms. 

My life here was just filled with complete and utter bliss, but there was always this nagging feeling at the back of my mind, telling me that my time here was almost up. It always left me feeling extra frantic, wanting to be around everyone as much as I could, even keeping me up some nights, just trying to bring everyone together to sit and hang out. But the boys always dozed off, and Katsuki had to drag me away to calm me down and get some sleep. I didn’t want to leave just yet. 

“You’re overthinking again, I can feel it.” Katsuki said, running his nose along my temple. 

“How can you tell? Am I  _ that _ readable?” I asked, and Katsuki sat up from the bed slightly to give me a serious look. 

“Yes, you are. But that’s not it. We all can feel it. We  _ are  _ your brain, aren’t we?” 

My eyes widened. They could  _ feel  _ this? Could they feel all of my emotions? I knew that I wasn’t going crazy whenever the atmosphere always seemed to match just how I was feeling. Whenever I was happy, it was warm and sunny, everyone was laughing. When I felt more somber, the air was colder, and the others seemed more sluggish. Was I doing this to them? Now that I kept feeling panicked all the time, were they panicking too? 

“Listen to me,” Katsuki broke me away from my thoughts, and took my wrist into his hand. He guided it to his chest, and I gasped when I felt his heartbeat jackrabbiting against his rib cage. “None of us want you to leave, either. But when the time comes, you’ll have to go. But we’ll be right here when you come back. As long as you keep thinking about us.” 

I felt so  _ horrible _ . Everyone was withstanding my emotions without even telling me? They could feel this the entire time, and they didn’t say a word? If this was draining them, they should have just  _ told  _ me. They should have just let me know so that I could learn to control my emotions better. I wanted them to be happy, too. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

Katsuki shook his head before dropping back down onto his pillow. “That wasn’t an option. It would just make you feel more anxious. All we had to do was keep you happy, or else your mind would’ve gone unstable. This place would have turned dangerous.”

“I-It  _ what _ ?” I asked, sitting up myself this time, and Katsuki remained calm beside me, just staring up at the ceiling. “I didn’t know that these doors weren’t safe, I didn’t know that anything  _ bad _ could happen here. Th-These were created to make people happy, so  _ why _ —“ 

“I don’t know all the answers. I just know that you need to keep your emotions in check. That’s what we’re here for. That’s why we didn’t want to tell you.” Katsuki explained. “All you need to do is relax, and have fun. Then we can all be happy together, and your door stays stable.” 

“It’s not that  _ easy _ , Katsuki—“ 

“I know. It’s not easy at all. I’ve seen how alone you are at home. But use us, okay? You created us, you brought us here. Just use us up until you’re happy, because that’s all that matters. That’s what we live for.” 

“That… that doesn’t sound as good as you’re making it up to be.” It honestly sounded like what they were doing was a chore, that their only job was to make sure that I was happy, and that they had to waste their lives away by doing that. Their only chance at feeling whole, was if I felt that way. It sounded like they were doing this for their own benefit. 

“You'll understand it better in time. Just come lay down and get some sleep. You need it.” I obeyed, albeit reluctantly, but didn’t accept Katsuki’s embrace like I usually did. 

The words were out of my mouth before I could even stop them. “I need it, or you do?” 

Katsuki’s gaze was unreadable as he stared back at me. He brought his hands closer to his own body, knowing that I wasn’t going to lay next to him that night. “Kiara, it’s not like that. What use do we have after you’re gone? We just watch over you through your mind. What use do we have, sucking up all your positive energy? We don’t need to be the ones that are happy.  _ You  _ do. That’s the whole point of these doors, of  _ us _ . I can’t even believe you fucking thought  _ we  _ were using  _ you _ .” 

I wanted to bite back, to let out the anger that was building up inside of me, but I couldn’t help but find that he was right. Every day that I spent here, those boys had never once failed to keep me feeling content, to keep me feeling like I really belonged somewhere. And the more that I realized that, the more that their smiling faces and cute gestures had popped up in my mind, the anger had subsided, and guilt took over. And then I thought about how Katsuki must have felt the change. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he murmured, turning over so that his back faced me. “Just get some sleep. You really do need it.” 

I woke up to a blaring alarm, and I jolted from my slumber, shooting up alongside Katsuki, who looked to already be awake, staring blankly at the sheets below him. “Wh-What is—“ 

“ _ Your time is nearing its end. Please make your way to the door. If you do not make it in time, the deactivation process will occur with you inside. It is not dangerous, but we will have to escort you out.”  _ The coordinator’s familiar voice broke out through the room, sounding almost like a loudspeaker from school. “ _ You have almost exceeded your time, and the next time slot is going to begin soon. Please make your way to the door as quickly as you can _ .” 

My heart sank. 

I looked over at Katsuki, who was sitting eerily still on the mattress. “You knew the time was coming, huh?” I asked tentatively, memories from our argument resurfacing from the night before. I was treading on the delicate surface of an ocean, hoping that I wasn’t going to take a wrong step and drown. 

Katsuki nodded, and I sighed with relief. So he wasn’t upset with me. “I’ve known ever since you got here. Kinda hoped that this lasted longer, though.” He finally looked at me, sending me a sad smile that didn’t quite reach his glassy eyes. 

“... Me too.” 

I was mostly in disbelief at the fact that this was really  _ over _ , that I was really about to step out of that door and go back into reality. I didn’t want to go back, I really didn’t. I just wanted to stay here with them, and spend the rest of my life there. 

_ Oh… _ I almost forgot about my friends and family. My chest ached when I thought of abandoning them all. How could I do such a thing? I  _ had  _ to leave, I  _ had  _ to return. I had no choice in the matter, anyways, but all that I could do in this very moment was cling onto Katsuki for the remainder of the time that we had left. 

I was grateful that he didn’t pull away, and that he let me hold him despite what had transpired the night before. I wasn’t sure how much time I had left exactly, but I still felt like a ticking time bomb were about to go off, and my heart was going to explode in a million pieces. It broke me to leave them, but I knew that I had to.

“You know… you gotta leave, soon.” Katsuki murmured into my hair. I clutched tighter onto him as we lay together on the bed. 

“I know, I just… I don’t want to go just yet.” I’d been there for almost a month, but in the real world, it was just a mere half hour. But someone else’s turn was coming up soon, and it was illegal to spill over into another person’s chance at happiness. 

His hand stroked at my hair, and played with the curls. He pressed a lingering kiss to my forehead. “If you don’t go now, they’ll just come and get you.” 

“Then let them. I just wanna be here as long as I can.” I said, nuzzling deeper into his embrace. 

“Okay, Kiara.” Katsuki murmured, before we both lay in silence. 

I almost couldn’t believe what I had gone through during this past month. Meeting up with old friends, and new people that I had grown fond of. And also, being able to spend time with someone who I loved deeply, but could never be with in the real world. He would forever exist only in my mind, in drawings, or in my stories, but he would never be able to sit beside me or hold my hand outside of this lavender painted door. The thought saddened me, but I was also extremely grateful for this experience. 

I loved feeling Katsuki’s warmth against me, I loved feeling his arms wrapped around my petite frame, shielding me from the cold, and washing away all of my worries. He kept me grounded, kept me feeling safe, loved, cared for. I wasn’t sure if I had someone in real life who would do the same for me. Yes, I had friends who I loved dearly. But that wasn’t the same, there would always be that craving for this kind of intimacy. 

“Hey, it’s time. They’re shutting it off.” Katsuki murmured, and I hadn’t even realized that his figure had been losing its rigidity. He was growing more and more transparent as the seconds passed, and the room was growing dimmer. My heart started to race as I frantically grabbed onto Katsuki, trying to grasp onto the final moments that we had before I would have to wait another few months until I saw him again. I didn’t know if I could handle the wait. 

“Y-You know I love you, right? I-I love you, Katsuki.” 

He chuckled, and I almost burst into tears when I noticed that I could see through his body now. “I love you too. You’ll be back before you know it, Kiara. Don’t worry too much. Just keep making stories. Don’t you dare stop, okay?” 

“O-Okay, Katsuki. I won’t. I  _ promise _ .” 

“Good girl.” He said, but his voice sounded so far away, so quiet, even though his disappearing figure was right in front of me. I hated watching him go. I wanted to stay here forever, but no matter what, I still had a life to get back to at home. So once he finally dematerialized between my fingertips, I let the tears fall, and the room went dark. It was pitch black, save for a small sliver of light that gradually grew into a large rectangular shape. I faced away from it, wiping my face. 

“I hope you had a good time, but I’m afraid that your time is up. It’s time to go.” The coordinator said, and I nodded with a sniffle, and walked towards the door on shaky feet. The coordinator looked at me in understanding, probably because she had felt this familiar sadness from having to leave from such a place. But it had to be done, there was no arguing in that fact. 

And once I stepped back into reality, I was immediately taken back to the moment when I first got there, the excitement that bubbled in my belly at the thought of being able to step through that door again. That same excitement was back, but for a different reason. I had a new motivation, and it allowed me to leave with a smile on my face, because no matter what, they’d be waiting for me once I got back. 

**Author's Note:**

> yeah.. that was a ride. apologies for how long it was. it was almost going to be longer, but even i didn’t have the patience to write anymore ^^;;


End file.
